


Shorter’s Special SPECIAL Chinese New Year lunch

by Zelinxia



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Cooking, Gen, and ash who roasts shorter while also being a dumbass in love, eiji the innocent food critic, starring shorter who tries to cook, the boys are alive and happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 19:10:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17269436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zelinxia/pseuds/Zelinxia
Summary: “Hi hi! Welcome to Chang Dai. In this corner today you get Shorter’s Special SPECIAL pre Chinese New Year lunch.”Shorter prepares and cooks a meal with traditional dishes for CNY for Eiji and Ash. But really: five times Eiji roasted Shorter's cooking and one time he doesn't.





	Shorter’s Special SPECIAL Chinese New Year lunch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fifthcolor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fifthcolor/gifts).



> This is for a gift exchange for the holidays among a group of friends! To Andy, I was so excited when I got you because I knew it means I can write the good boys from Banana Fish. I have to say researching all these food made me hungry.
> 
> A thank you to Rimi for encouragement and to Domo for some CNY food input!

Dried noodles. Leeks. Fresh fish from the local markets. Pork. And lots and lots of seasonings. 

These are some of the many ingredients Shorter Wong stockpiled to try out cooking for the upcoming Chinese New Year. He’s not making it for Chang Dai’s regular customers, nor for himself and Nadia. Nah, his guinea pigs will be his best friend Aslan “Ash” Callenreese and their new buddy, their high school’s beloved exchange student, Eiji Okumura. And they’re definitely going to love it - or if they don’t he’ll force them to eat it all. It’s what friends do in the Wong household. 

_Ah,_ he thinks, busting out the wok and steamers. _This will definitely please Eiji’s palate with our cuisines being similar._

He spends hours cooking from scratch. Kneading all that flour and rice into batches of dough and wraps for the _yau gok_ and _chēun gyún_ takes serious labor skills. Now how many teens can boast they work that hard replicating family recipes, huh? 

Ash and Eiji arrive past two for their late lunch. Today there is no fresh snow, but as usual, given the unpredictable New York winter weather, it is ridiculously cold. Shorter has three bowls of pork bone broth - something that is already prepared by another chef - ready for them to sip on to warm them up.

“Hi hi! Welcome to Chang Dai. In this corner today you get Shorter’s Special SPECIAL pre Chinese New Year lunch.”

“Hey Eiji, you’re in luck,” Ash says, as he ( _smoothly_ , Shorter notes) wraps an arm around Eiji’s shoulders. “Even though you’re away from home, you get to celebrate Asian New Year with Shorter.”

Two, no, three things happen. Eiji tilts his head in his usual clueless fashion. (“Asian New Year??”) Shorter snickers, and somehow that gives Eiji a clue to join him with his adorable laughter. Ash scowls and blushes in bewilderment.

“You white fool,” Shorter says with a howl. “Japanese people don’t celebrate the new year the same time like us Chinese and Viets.” 

“Shut up!” Ash gulps down his bone broth, a typical Ash Callenreese thing to do whenever he’s embarrassed in front of any of his crushes. “Hurry up with the food already!” 

Shorter does, like so, cackling all the way into the kitchen and back.

Ash is a genius. So brilliant, that he skipped two grades in elementary school and is clearly the youngest of their class. But when it comes to Eiji, and trying to impress him, he’s a dumbass. A snarky white dumbass. 

“Here, here, eat up Eiji.” And they start with dumplings and spring rolls.

**One: Dumplings**

Mince the pork and sausage. Sprinkle in chopped black mushrooms. Add minced shrimp for some flavorful kick. Toss in soy sauce, then spoon the mixture on the wrap, and fold and pinch.. Deep fry in oil and, viola, dumplings.

A classic staple. Shorter has made dumplings for a long time. Piece of cake, even kneading the dough is an easy chore by now.

“How is it this time?”

“Same as usual,” Ash says, mouth full.

“Hmm.” Eiji chews with a pensive look. “The skin is crispy. There are burns. It’s like _harumaki_!”

“Harumaki?”

“Oh, Japanese spring rolls. But on the inside, there is too many soy sauce. So not _harumaki_.”

Shorter sighs. “Well, next up is Cantonese style spring rolls.”

**Two: Spring rolls**

Minced pork. Carrots and sprouts. Some cabbage. Roll them up in the rice flour wrap and deep fry until golden brown and crispy. Serve with dipping sauce.

“Sauce is homemade, too!”

“This is nice, Shorter. Sauce is plain. I can taste the rolls and soy sauce. The skin is chewy. It’s like _gyoza_ , I mean dumplings. Shorter! Did you give us spring rolls first and dumplings second by mistake?”

“No…” Shorter says in defeat. He kicks Ash in the shins for snickering.

**Three: Chicken, boiled**

One can never go wrong with boiled chicken. Every special occasion, like the new year, calls for boiled chicken - and not just the wimpy American cut without the head and feet. Boil water, add in salt and seasoning like bullion, and cook some whole chicken.

Shorter finally brings out three bowls of piping hot rice for the chicken. He is the king of cooking rice at Chang Dai and at home. No one can just throw in grains and fill up with a pre-selected cups of water. You have to run trial and error with each new bag of rice. And still, not everyone can do it. He has been given the almighty gift of preparing just the right amount of stickiness for rice.

“Ahhh.” Eiji inhales the steam of fresh, hot rice. “I love rice. ‘No rice, no life,’ I saw on a shirt before.”

“A-fucking-men,” Shorter says.

Whenever Eiji eats something so good, he wriggles and breaks into a huge smile. He does just so when he takes a small portion of good ol’ plain rice. Which is nice, but for Shorter...Eiji loving his prepared rice is not enough.

He bites on a piece of chicken. And chews. And chews.

_And chews._

“You okay? I checked and it isn’t undercooked.”

Eiji nods. “Hmm, very tough. But the seasoning is delicious.”

“Mine is dry.” Ash spits out the bones into his napkin. He grabs the serving bottle of soy sauce and pours some over his next piece. Eats. “Oh now this one is chewy.”

Shorter’s eyebrows twitch madly enough that his studs threaten to screw loose. How - how could _boiled chicken_ be that inconsistent?!

**Four: Noodles, long**

Everyone loves noodles. The key for the new year is to keep it as long as possible while cooking it. If the noodles stay as long as it originally was when dried, then you pretty much hit the jackpot, so Shorter thinks.

Boil, soak, and drain. So easy. And serve with Chang Dai’s pork bone broth.

Eiji lets out a contentful sigh once he drinks more broth. “Shorter, this is amazing. How do you make it?”

“He doesn’t.” Ash smirks. “Someone else in the kitchen always prepare it cause Shorter here can’t wake up that early _OW_ ”

“Oh, well, noodles are so long!” And Shorter watches as Eiji slurps some up. “Mmm, a balance of chewy and soft! It’s. It is. Two - um, what were the words?”

“Best of both worlds?” Ash says.

“Best of both worlds! Hmm, but I guess some noodles got cooked longer, and some did not.” 

That’s because Shorter dumped the dry noodles little by little. Instead, he should have shake it all in at once. Argh!

**Five: Fish, steamed**

The best for last. The fortunate dish for last. A classic one.

Season the fish. Stuff with ginger and sprinkle the rest. Steam it. When done, garnish with scallions. Prepare hot sesame oil, soy sauce, and some cooking wine, and pour over the fish.

At Chang Dai, steamed bass is popular. But with only three people, he goes with crucian carps (also auspicious fishes) for their compact size. Still, it ought to taste good.

When Eiji practically drools seeing the fish, it boosts what little ego Shorter has this late into their meal. 

“Mmm! Fish! In Japan, we like eating _sashimi_ for New Year.” 

“Heh, well hope you like my cooked fish.” Shorter whips out a knife and neatly cut out the bones, leaving both sides of their fish intact. “Knock yourselves.”

“Ooh, it looks so fresh and not dry.”

He takes a bite. 

“Amazing, Shorter! It tastes like - like something from outer space!” 

“Huh? What is that supposed to mean?”

**One: Mandarins**

Eiji’s a good kid. A really, really good kid. When he first arrived in New York as an exchange student to stay for a year, he was cheerful and curious about anything and everything American culture. He’s naive. So naive, that Shorter and Ash have to stop him from doing something so reckless under _their_ own standards.

But - Shorter hates having to say this - who knew what a blunt guy Eiji is? Sweet, doe eyed Eiji? Blunt? Pah! 

At least Eiji finishes everything. Like a good friend. Or else Shorter would have to make him eat up. He can’t feel bad, really. Eiji doesn’t even sound like he means to be critical for critical sake. He’s just sharing his observations, like he always does, of the new world around him.

Still though, give him a break!

“I am full. Thank you for the good meal.”

“Good, good. But before you go, take some of these.”

In time for the upcoming New Year, there is a bowl of mandarins at the counter where customers pay up front. They are fresh and plump, bursting with the right amount of tangy sour and sweetness. Shorter throws one each to Ash and Eiji. Ash pockets his, while Eji immediately peels his own. 

“Mmm, delicious!” And he gobbles the rest of his slices. “Hey, where can we buy more?”

“You can’t buy them anywhere,” Shorter says. “They’re homegrown. I actually manage the crop.”

The stars in Eiji’s eyes shine brighter. “Really? You make a great gardener. I think more talented than cooking.”

Oh no, he’s too sweet. “Oh, uh, thanks.”

But wait a minute. Did Eiji just full on out say he sucks at cooking? 

“Next time, come over to my house! I mean, my host family’s house. We cook Japanese food a lot. I can cook for you.”

This punkass! “You can count on me!”

“Sweet, I’ll be there,” Ash says.

Eiji smiles at him. “You are always welcome, Ash.” ( _Smooth_ , Shorter notes.)

“Well, we’re off to look at comics. Later.” They all wave goodbye, and by the time they reach the door, Ash has his hands around Eiji’s waist.

Shorter clears up the table and dump the dishes in the dishwasher. He checks his phone for the last half hour before his evening shift begins. It pings with incoming texts from Ash.

**_Nice job trying to impress Eiji today_ **

**_Good thing I’m not alone in failing :P_ **

He furiously replies.

_Of course I wanted to impress him dumbass._

_I’m taking over Chang Dai someday! Gotta impress the customers!_

But you flirt to impress him “Asian New Year”? Fucking hilarious man.

A few seconds later, his phone buzzes. The only thing Ash texts back is with a middle finger emoji. Classic Ash.

The door opens. Customers rush in. His shift now begins.

It’s clear that he still has a lot to improve on. For now, he’ll just assist preparing ingredients, and Nadia will cook for their family’s Chinese New Year meal. Someday though, he will be an excellent cook, because that’s how the Wong family rolls.

**Author's Note:**

> I love how Shorter takes pride in cooking but he sucks and _everyone knows_.
> 
> Some of Eiji's lines were borrowed from a hilarious exchange between him and Shorter for [episode 5 preview](https://twitter.com/bananafish_tv/status/1024218143634284544). Mae provided translation [here](https://twitter.com/maehustisya/status/1024224149613367296). And listen to the PV to hear how cute Eiji sounds when he innocently criticizes Shorter's cooking. I hope I made Eiji come off like that!
> 
> You can find me on Twitter at [zelinxia](http://twitter.com/zelinxia). Also check out Andy on twitter at [blkdiamond art](https://twitter.com/blkdiamond_art) because they're a sweetheart!


End file.
